13 simple steps to follow to become more socially confident
If, post lockdown, the sudden thought of having to interact with people again gives you social anxiety – know that you are not alone, almost 50% of adults reported high anxiety post lockdown (according to Office of National Statistics). But also know, there are steps you can take to build up your confidence again, to become more socially confident, feel at ease in social situations, and, of course, put the joy back into socialising!
How to become more socially confident
Being socially confident is a skill you can learn, like any other skill and with enough practice you can become the most confident, interesting fun person in the room; your light and energy WILL attract others to you. It is a process that takes time and effort, it might not happen overnight, but it WILL happen.
So if you sit and watch confident people, the way they walk, the way they stand, how they can hold the attention of a room, and feel attracted to that undeniable belief they have in themselves – well know that you can have it too! And we at YNLS are here to show you how to show-up and fully embody confidence as your own in simple, easy to follow steps.
What does it mean to be socially confident?
Being socially confident means you can walk into any social situation and feel comfortable in the surroundings, because you are so confident in who you are as a person, socialising with strangers doesn’t even phase you. People who are socially confident exude a positive and approachable demeanor and can talk to anyone without feeling anxious or self-conscious.
Three reasons you need to know how to be socially confident
If you want to embrace social situations with optimism and adaptability, navigate diverse social settings with grace and charisma, and be the one person in the room everyone wants to talk to – read on to find out how anyone can become that person …
13 steps to follow to be more socially confident
1. Make the commitment
Like anything it will take a bit of work to build up both your courage and your confidence, so firstly you need to make the commitment to yourself that you are going to do the work to improve yourself. You need to commit to doing the work involved because you know it’s going to improve who you are and how you feel about yourself – so stay committed to yourself. Confidence comes with taking action and seeing results and when you see the results, belief in yourself will grow.
Have you ever noticed the difference you feel when you made a promise to yourself and you kept it versus how you feel if you dismissed it? Yeah – well, that’s why commitment is important.
2. Have a growth mindset
Believe that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. A growth mindset is knowing it is possible to grow your confidence by doing the work and keeping your mindset strong. It’s knowing that you can feel at ease again, that you can connect with others and have fun in social situations, rather than thinking it’s impossible to change and that you will never feel good in social situations, so why bother trying. Focus on the present, let go of worries and fears about what might happen in the future or what has already happened in the past.
3. Change your inner dialogue
Change your inner voice and how you talk to yourself. Turn your inner critic into your inner coach and become your own best friend. Practice positive self-talk and find positive affirmations that help to boost your confidence. Write them down, post them around your room to remind yourself of them. Repeat them daily to yourself so they become part of your inner dialogue and replace any negative thoughts with positive ones. Be compassionate and kind to yourself, like you would to people you care about.
4. Remind yourself of your positive traits
Think about all of your positive traits and choose to focus on them to make your self feed good. Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments, and that you are capable of achieving great things. Don’t compare yourself to others. Make a list of what’s good about you. When you’re feeling low, take a few moments to focus on the things that you like about yourself and the things that you’re proud of. See yourself as a person of value. The better you feel about yourself the more confident you will feel and will have more to share and talk about when you are in a social situation.
Think about all of your positive traits and choose to focus on them to make your self feed good. Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments, and that you are capable of achieving great things. Don’t compare yourself to others. Make a list of what’s good about you. When you’re feeling low, take a few moments to focus on the things that you like about yourself and the things that you’re proud of. See yourself as a person of value. The better you feel about yourself the more confident you will feel and will have more to share and talk about when you are in a social situation.
5. Develop your social skills.
Developing your social skills can help you to become more confident in social situations. This could mean learning how to start conversations, how to keep conversations going, how to make small talk, or how to draw a conversation to a natural close is just as important too. Focus on building your social skills and honing your strengths, and you will develop a greater sense of self-confidence over time.
6. Show interest in others
When you are socialising, show genuine curiosity in others. People LOVE to talk about themselves. Remember their name and use it in conversation, people also LOVE to hear their name being mentioned. Be present with them, give them your undivided attention and mirror their body language too, this helps to build connection with others.
7. Be aware of your body language
Be aware of how you present yourself and look approachable with warmth and openness. Make eye contact and smile. Be aware of your body language and overall demeanour. Body language is a powerful tool that can be used to communicate confidence. Make sure to stand tall, make eye contact, and smile. Additionally, try to avoid fidgeting and crossing your arms.
8. Become the best version of yourself
Spending time with people who make you feel supported and inspired is a good way to always bring out the best in yourself too as you become most like the people you spend the most time with. If you surround yourself with people who believe in you and encourage you to reach your goals you will feel encouraged to try harder. Connect with people who have similar goals and interests to help motivate you to work harder towards them.
9. Embrace your quirks
Accept who you are and embrace your quirks. Let people see the real you – don’t be fake, even if you think you are nerd. Talk about your passions with interest as passionate people are always interesting to talk to – don’t shy away from it!
10. Start socialising
Now as your confidence as building since you’ve been doing all the above work, it’s time to accept invitations to social events. Don’t isolate yourself any longer you need to start practising to see how what you have been working on has developed. The best way to become more socially confident is to practice. And then you have to celebrate all the little wins as you do. Celebrate your successes no matter how small they may be, from initiating a conversation, to joining a group at event – it’s all part of the process. Reward yourself with something special, like a special treat.
11. Think about what to share
If you have accepted an invitation, prepare in advance and know what you would like to talk about. Think what you want to share with others and write out some stories, practice telling them as much as you can. Taking the time to prepare can help to reduce anxiety and make you feel more confident.
12. Embrace discomfort
Feeling discomfort is a good thing, it’s a sign of growing, and shows you are embracing a growth mindset. Taking risks and trying new things can help to build your confidence. It could be something as small as trying a new restaurant or something bigger like learning a speaking up in a group setting. Every time you feel discomfort, you are pushing yourself further out of our comfort zone and growing as a person at the same time.
13. Seek expert guidance
Read blog posts, watch videos, buy books or listen to podcasts. There is a wealth of knowledge and guidance out there. Do not be afraid to invest in yourself and your future if you need a coach to help or support you on your growth journey. You are your biggest asset with the right strategies and techniques, it is possible to become more self-assured and at ease in social situations.
Growth is a journey – embrace it
Whether you’re looking to make new friends, build your career, or just feel more socially confident in your day-to-day life, these 13 simple to follow steps can help you to build your belief in yourself, begin to embody confidence and start to enjoy your life again. You owe it to yourself to embrace it all and become the confident person you deserve to be.
Final thoughts
Finally, always take time to reflect and learn from your experiences. If social anxiety ever kicks in again, or if you need to support a friend in need here are steps to take to help. Reflect on your experiences and use them to help you grow and improve. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or advice if you need it.
